Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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