I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize