I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
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I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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