he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
come over.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
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i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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