my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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