So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
