Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
