I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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