it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize