If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
