I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
pray to the hookup gods
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
