I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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