A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
