i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
