Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
