I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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