I hate your face
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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