just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize