yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
