I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
