I smell stomach acid.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
