"it" just moved
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize