my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
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I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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