My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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