It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
