Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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