I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
did you just send me my own nude
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
