i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize