i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
