I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
