I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
