Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
