You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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