thus making me awesome and them whores
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize