So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
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I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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