I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
