If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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