No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Randomize
