We're like a lot better than the average bears
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
