yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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