Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Drunk is not a location!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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