before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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