I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
