Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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