i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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