As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
