You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
