When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
