O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
