the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
