he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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