I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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