So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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