You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
