my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize